an insider's look at digitizing medical records for physicians

Funny Medical Excerpts, Part Deux

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Trust me,  I'm a Doctor!

Trust me, I'm a Doctor!


Now that the laughter has subsided after our first installment of Doctor Humour, we now
offer you “Part Deux” as promised. Enjoy!  We skimmed through borrowed copies of Gray’s Anatomy and the Physicians’ Desk Reference to bring you these classic Doctor comments on patient charts.

Of course, none of the excerpts below come from any of the hundreds of thousands
of records managed by RSRS.  At no time, does RSRS review the content of the medical records stored or scanned for our physician, clinic and hospital clients.

This installment provided by Doctor’s Lounge –

  • “The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.”
  • “The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who  breathed and cried immediately.”
  • “Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.”
  • “She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.”
  • “The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.”
  • “Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.” (Long fingers?)
  • “Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.”
  • “A midsystolic ejaculation murmur heard over the mitral area.”
  • “The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.”
  • “Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot. “
  • “Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress. “
  • “She can’t get pregnant with her husband, so I will work her up. “
  • “Whilst in Casualty she was examined, X-rated and sent home.”
  • “On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.”
  • “The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.”
  • “I will be happy to go into her GI system, she seems ready and anxious.”
  • “I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he
    stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.”
  • “Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.”
  • “The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a
    picture of acute pulmonary oedema at home while having sex which gradually
    deteriorated in the emergency room.”
  • “The patient is a 79-year-old widow who no longer lives with her husband.”
  • “Many years ago the patient had frostbite of the right shoe.”
  • “The bugs that grew out of her urine were cultured in the Casualty and are not
    available. I WILL FIND THEM!!!”
  • “The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original

At RSRS,  we believe that there is no more powerful tool for improving morale (with the possible exception of doubling one’s salary) than making work enjoyable.  While we may not be able to make your office “fun,” we can reduce the stress of many of your business and scanning challenges.  Please call us at 1-888-563-3732  or visit our website.




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